Welcome to 2023, what now?

It's that time of year when your thoughts are drawn to the year ahead and you start thinking about what you want to achieve.

The role of agency is what drives these thoughts. Agency means we have the ability to determine our functioning and can put in course events.  We do this in a number of ways and one of the most important ways we do this is by setting intentions and following them up through planning and strategising.  Research* has shown that when we set our own goals (rather than have them given to us), we are better at executing them and staying on target.  It makes sense right?   

Once you have your intention(s), ask yourself the why question.  Why do you want to achieve these intentions?  For example, this year I set a goal to 'have better conversations'.  Why?  Because I want to develop stronger connections, build deeper understanding and learn more.  I want curiosity to be sparked and because I think the last few years have not aided our connection building muscles and I'm acutely aware of this. 

If you keep repeating the why question for your intention, you will get to the heart of the matter.  Then just sit with it.  Stop everything you are doing and try to feel this intention.  Your thoughts will go off in random directions but you'll know when it's right.  You will imagine your intention and you'll know if its right for you, deep down you will feel it.  Seeing it will help make it happen (there's a lot to be said for visualisation). 

If you want more on this and how to really feel and see your intention, read Glennon Doyle's book 'Untamed' and pay attention to the section on Knowing.  Glennon discusses socialisation, how we learn to be 'good' and to follow what society expects of us, not what we want for ourselves.  There's a bit of a guide in there for reaching your Knowing, that place where you throw off the societal shackles and do what is right for yourself.  I reckon your intentions for 2023 will get a whole lot more interesting if you embed this practice.     

*Have a look at the work of Dr Ayelet Fishbach www.ayeletfishbach.com on the psychology of motivation and decision making.