Sliding Doors

Lately I've been thinking that its time to set aside a couple of days, to think and develop some plans.  I was going to write the word goals but I'm not a very good goal setter.  You see, planning feels much more fluid and responsive - the process of planning allows for change and disruptions or opportunities to arise.  I find when I set goals, something usually happens along the way that changes what I want to achieve at the end.  You learn something about yourself and the goal no longer seems quite right or something happens which says to you, take this opportunity instead.  Sometimes the path ahead isn't all that clear and we get diverted.  Whatever happens, when forces outside of our control cause us to pivot or get on a different train, that's when things can get very interesting.  

Sometimes life is taking us down a different path, one we're not fully aware of yet or can't even comprehend.  It can feel disconcerting and uncomfortable, not being able to see clearly ahead.  If this happens to me, I set small intentions or create smaller plans that push me along in the general direction I want to go but other times I let it slide when big things get in the way, like a pandemic and you have to completely rethink your plans.  The sliding doors of the train are a bit sticky today but eventually they have some maintenance, so tomorrow they work fine and you miss the train.  The outcome of missing the train, can be so joyful and surprising that we often forget our original goal.  Rethinking our intentions can have unintended consequences, leading to more creativity and even better plans.  My lovely mum used to say to me, 'everything happens for a reason and sometimes you don't know what that reason is Emilija.'  It was her way of trying to help me turn my mindset to new possibilities, rather than being mired in disappointment.  

So, over the next few days I am going to carve out some space to go away and be alone with my thoughts.  To think and plan.  Part of this will be thinking about what I'll do if fate intervenes and things don't quite go my way.  Maybe it's plan B that kicks in or maybe I'll just let the train take me to whatever stop I need to get off at.